I need some crack

Ellen: Allie, oh my gosh, these dishes are so hard to clean!
Allie: I know right?! We need a raise... or maybe some crack...
Ellen: That's it. I'M DEMANDING A RAISE
Allie: or maybe some crack?
Ellen: yea.. or some crack. did we get the dishes off the table?
Allie: yea i think so..
April: no, you've got the bread and butter here still
Allie: well bread isn't a dish.
April: but it's on a cutting board.
Allie: Shut up April. *laughs* get me some crack ^_^
 it's ok, it isn't a secret April, we have the same dealer.
April: *laughs* damnit, why can you always make me smile. stop doing that!!

(later)







Mom: what's April doing over there?
Ellen: Rolling my cigarettes
Allie: or buying some crack off the internet...
Mom: ...
Allie: she's definitely buying crack. APRIL! why aren't you sharing with me!






Allie: *whispers* "aaappprrriiiilll"
 April: *moves closer, whispers* "whaat?"

Allie:*whispers* "I have to peee"
April: *literally rolls on the floor laughing*

 (later)
Allie: APRIL! I need some crack!!!

April: sorry, we're all out
Allie: you used it all?!
April: yepp, im sorry, my supplier doesn't come till the 18th!
Allie: while I was peeing I realized the 18th is a long way away. I would have said I had to pee like a racehorse on crack, but that would be inaccurate since April used all our crack.

What?

So today I was called a whore... more specifically I was called a Fucking whore. wanna know why? well, youre getting an elaborate story!! :D story time!! ^_^

    So a few days ago I was talking to my friend. He's a really sweet guy and we were just talking like normal people would. and almost out of no where he said "you know, I'm just gonna be honest, I so want to date you" and I felt the same way so all in all we're together now and we're both very happy about it. We talk on the phone and we're trying to hang out. but he lives a little bit away and gas.. well... its expensive and such. but that isn't the point. I finally told my step mom which means I finally changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship"
   not 5 seconds after I post this I get a comment and it went something like this "douche-bag-ass-hole has commented on your status. so I click it thinking well maybe he's happy for me? oh could I ever be more wrong. what i find instead was his comment saying "cheater! you lied" which confused me further. all I could do was say "whaat" and he responded "you said you'd come back to me!!!!!!" at this point I was like woah. because when a guy's status says "hangin with my wife" don't you assume he's married? good. me too. well aparently hes single and his "wife" is just a friend. (how does that work?) but anyway, he emotionally abuses all of his friends (including me) and then he complains about losing the people he "cares about" this kid is like a cross between my ex (aka: Mr. Date Rape) and my emotionally disturbed step brother (whos 19 but acts 12 and has the emotional range of a teaspoon, if teaspoons got really super angry about stupid things) and he replied "whatever, be a fuckin whore" well I responded in an apropriate manner, and i was nice to him, all I said was "stop it! (insert name here), you can call me what you want but I never said I'd go back to you and I saw how you treated other girls, you emotionally abused them" and then he replied.

all in all, I got called a whore for dating a normal guy instead of a sex crazed, mental abuser. I'm totally a whore guys! ya learn somethin new every day, dont ya?

the everything post

So, I havn't posted anything since there was snow on the ground.... and I'm sure the people that I imagine reading this blog are very disappointed in me (people: not at all ally... youre posts are boring...) shut up voices!!


anyway. I'm sort of disappointed now. I was told once that if you lick someones elbow when they are not paying attention, the person whose elbow you are licking, can't feel it. Well, a few weeks ago, I was sitting next to my friend peter and he was conversating with my step mom and his elbow was right there so i just sorta licked it. well, Peter definitely knew what was happening, and actually, the whole event was sorta hysterical. Peter freaked out on me like "why would you do that?!?!" I also tried to lick my brothers elbow, with a similar outcome. I don't know if I just had bad timing, or what, but it seems to me that this whole elbow licking thing is a load of horse poop. which makes me EXTREMELY disappointed...

another thing I was thinking about recently, was Model United Nations. for those invisible people who don't know what that is, It's like a debate club sorta. Each school is assigned a country, then each person in the club, is assigned a separate committee. within your specific committee, you get 3 or 4 topics that are like major world issues. such as: Global warming, HIV and AIDS prevention among drug users, or alternative agriculture. you have 2 days to agree on a solution to as many of your problems as you can. it isn't a contest or competition of any sort. its just for fun really.
   anyway, every year we go to a convention in Syracuse. Since we live so far from syracuse we stay in a hotel for a night. This always results in some sort of insane hotel antics... This year, we had a Hall part with our good friends from a neighboring school, made this funky cheese dip, which, according to me "sounds like jalepenos" (i was really tired alright? don't judge me...) and found a gummy bear in the hallway. we didn't cause any sort of structural damage to the hotel (thank god) and all the guests were pretty supportive of our intense hall party. other than that, Dillon found a chinese takeout bag that had just been sitting on the ground since wed gotten there. so on the last day, He decided to kick it. He took a running start and kicked it. the bag proceeded to fly a good ten feet. then we heard a voice. the voice said "hey!! why'd you kick my food?!" at this, Dillon started freaking out. (he had no idea that the kid was joking) he looked like he was gonna pee himself. the guy ran up to him and dillon started to apologize and then the guy was like "nah, im just kidding" and then, im pretty sure dillon almost peed himself again xD it was amazing. I almost peed from laughing so hard.

(more to come, my laptop is dieing D: 

How fish sticks almost scard me emotionally for life

   Today I went over to my Mom's house all excited about the prospect of fish sticks. We came home, put them in the oven and sat down for a little to wait for them to cook. When they finally got done we took them out of the oven and dispersed them among us. Having not eaten anything all day really because I had gotten a cavity re-filled at the dentist. so I immediately picked one up and took a bite. almost instantly I knew something was wrong with the fish stick. It tasted aweful. At first I thought it may have been just the fish stick so I took another one. Same effect. After about 3 different fish sticks, I gave up. I asked if anyone else thought the fish sticks were overly fishy. at first they said no but then they were like "ewww... yes".  These fish sticks were aweful. they tasted like someone had thrown them in Sodus bay (which is a gross bay near me filled with sea weed and ick) and then another person(presumably the person who "made" the fish sticks) fished them out of the bay and let them sit another week to dry then froze them and put them in a package! it was aweful.

   well. any normal family would havee simply thrown these aweful fish sticks out. but no. we were not going to waste such fishsticks. so what did we do? we did what any one in our family would have done. we took said "fish" sticks, outside and promptly placed them in the road. It took some manuvering but eventually we got most of the fish sticks run over and what we didn't get run over, we had a fish stick war with. :) and if at this point, you are wondering what is wrong with my family. well this is the norm for us. one year we busted up a toilet to find a plastic peice that a little girl had presumably thrown into to it. but discovered there was no plastic peice. so we just kinda busted the toilet more. with a sledge hammer.

Fish Food.... need i say more? (well yes i do because im writing this post but that is beside the point!)

Sometime in the day, a conversation got started about how some people ate dog or cat food as children, or ate dog treats for money or just out of curiosity... well I thought and thought about this subject and the worst thing I remember eating was fish food. not worst as in it tasted bad, because really, it didn't taste that bad. kinda salty, but worst as in it was worst for my health.... but anyway, so when I was 7 or 8 I was in the living room and I decided that our fish wanted some food. My mom and dad were in the other room paying no mind to me and I knew we hadn't fed the fish yet. so, with this on my mind I decided to do just that. I went over to the fish tank and grabbed the fish food off. but there was a problem. the lid was stuck on pretty tight. I pulled and pulled and finally I got that stupid lid off. what I also did was spill half the can of fish flakes on the floor. So naturally I started to freak out like "oh my gosh!!! mommy and daddy are gonna kill me and then they'll yell at me and be mad!" or something to that effect. now, I guess you could say I wasn't your normal 8 year old. because a normal 8 year old would have tried to pick the flakes up and put them back in the can. but no, what I decided was a better idea was to take and eat the fish flakes that I had dropped on the floor. so that's exactly what I did. I ate almost half a can of fish flakes because I didn't want to get in trouble. unfortunately, I thought that they didn't taste half bad, so i started eating them right out of the can... and for the next few days when I went to feed the fish, I would eat the fish flakes too. so that might explain why I am a little strange.... honestly, I don't eat them any more...

Shipoopi

the new swear word. Now, Shipoopi is actually a song from the musical The Music Man which is the musical my high school is doing this year. now over the past 2 weeks we've been learning the dance to the song Shipoopi. now I know what's running through your head "shipoopi... hehe... you said poopi" or something to that effect. but the dance to this song is intense! 90% of it is hopping. and then we split off into groups and our director, Frau, decided that she wanted a group of girls who could do cartwheels. which i can, so i immediately raised my hand, not knowing what was going to become of this. so, as it turns out, i have to do a cartwheel over a guys legs. to explain, he stands like he is sitting on a chair, with his legs out. I put my arms under his legs and essentially put my shoulders on his knees and he grabs my waist and sorta holds me so i don't fall while doing the cartwheel. this is easier said than done. I am so afraid that I'm gonna end up kicking my guy in the face! and i developed a bad habit of trying to put my hands on his knees and cartwheel over his knees like that. which resultsin me failing miserably. the first time i tried it i ended up on the floor which was interesting, to say the least and Frau is making our chorus teacher make us go out in the hall during the last few minutes of class and practice the cartwheels over and over again until we get them right. it's gonna be an interesting few weeks. but anyway. so this dance is so hard that whenever someone says Shipoopi, i swear at least five people go "ARGHHH!!!" not like a pirate, but like frustration. 

Of Course How Could I Forget The Devil Cat My Step-Mom Brought Home!

as I sat upinmy room doing my homework I heard the door open and my step mom called up to me "allie! come see my new kitty!" the first thought my mind could conjure was "holy shit, why the hell do we need another freaking cat?!" but i obediantly came down to see the kitty. so i walked downstairs and saw the kitty and I immediately changed my mind and thought it was the most adoreable thing ever! his name was Habbs. Habbs seemed friendly enough so I sat there watching this adoreable little critter explore my house. We showed him the litter box and the upstairs and the downstairsthen we let him be. a few hours later the topic came up and someone asked"where's Habbs?" My brother went and found Habbs in his room so we let him be until bed time. Around 10:00 adam went up to his room and moved the pillow on his bed and for some reason this pissed Habbs off and that cat freaked out! he snarled and hissed in protest. So he went and got my sister. I heard a horrible snarl and i thought it was my sister yelling at dog. nope. it was Habbs. That cat was not happy. we all went up there and he started freaking out! he acted possessed! we tried to get him off of the book shelf where he was perched but he snarled and hissed and spat so we got a blanket and chased him with it. now i've never been afraid of a cat except for this one! he landed near my feet and i screamed and jumped on the t.v stand. this coming from the girl who will sit there and play with mice and rats and snakes and every other animal. this cat was a lunatic. so we kept him for a few days and FINALLY returned him to lollipop farm which is an animal adoption center here. now we have a fat giant kitty named spencer :) he is friendly and he has a flap of fat on his tummy :P