Ellen: Allie, oh my gosh, these dishes are so hard to clean!
Allie: I know right?! We need a raise... or maybe some crack...
Ellen: That's it. I'M DEMANDING A RAISE
Allie: or maybe some crack?
Ellen: yea.. or some crack. did we get the dishes off the table?
Allie: yea i think so..
April: no, you've got the bread and butter here still
Allie: well bread isn't a dish.
April: but it's on a cutting board.
Allie: Shut up April. *laughs* get me some crack ^_^
it's ok, it isn't a secret April, we have the same dealer.
April: *laughs* damnit, why can you always make me smile. stop doing that!!
(later)
Mom: what's April doing over there?
Ellen: Rolling my cigarettes
Allie: or buying some crack off the internet...
Mom: ...
Allie: she's definitely buying crack. APRIL! why aren't you sharing with me!
Allie: *whispers* "aaappprrriiiilll"
April: *moves closer, whispers* "whaat?"
Allie:*whispers* "I have to peee"
April: *literally rolls on the floor laughing*
(later)
Allie: APRIL! I need some crack!!!
April: sorry, we're all out
Allie: you used it all?!
April: yepp, im sorry, my supplier doesn't come till the 18th!
Allie: while I was peeing I realized the 18th is a long way away. I would have said I had to pee like a racehorse on crack, but that would be inaccurate since April used all our crack.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
What?
So today I was called a whore... more specifically I was called a Fucking whore. wanna know why? well, youre getting an elaborate story!! :D story time!! ^_^
So a few days ago I was talking to my friend. He's a really sweet guy and we were just talking like normal people would. and almost out of no where he said "you know, I'm just gonna be honest, I so want to date you" and I felt the same way so all in all we're together now and we're both very happy about it. We talk on the phone and we're trying to hang out. but he lives a little bit away and gas.. well... its expensive and such. but that isn't the point. I finally told my step mom which means I finally changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship"
not 5 seconds after I post this I get a comment and it went something like this "douche-bag-ass-hole has commented on your status. so I click it thinking well maybe he's happy for me? oh could I ever be more wrong. what i find instead was his comment saying "cheater! you lied" which confused me further. all I could do was say "whaat" and he responded "you said you'd come back to me!!!!!!" at this point I was like woah. because when a guy's status says "hangin with my wife" don't you assume he's married? good. me too. well aparently hes single and his "wife" is just a friend. (how does that work?) but anyway, he emotionally abuses all of his friends (including me) and then he complains about losing the people he "cares about" this kid is like a cross between my ex (aka: Mr. Date Rape) and my emotionally disturbed step brother (whos 19 but acts 12 and has the emotional range of a teaspoon, if teaspoons got really super angry about stupid things) and he replied "whatever, be a fuckin whore" well I responded in an apropriate manner, and i was nice to him, all I said was "stop it! (insert name here), you can call me what you want but I never said I'd go back to you and I saw how you treated other girls, you emotionally abused them" and then he replied.
all in all, I got called a whore for dating a normal guy instead of a sex crazed, mental abuser. I'm totally a whore guys! ya learn somethin new every day, dont ya?
So a few days ago I was talking to my friend. He's a really sweet guy and we were just talking like normal people would. and almost out of no where he said "you know, I'm just gonna be honest, I so want to date you" and I felt the same way so all in all we're together now and we're both very happy about it. We talk on the phone and we're trying to hang out. but he lives a little bit away and gas.. well... its expensive and such. but that isn't the point. I finally told my step mom which means I finally changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship"
not 5 seconds after I post this I get a comment and it went something like this "douche-bag-ass-hole has commented on your status. so I click it thinking well maybe he's happy for me? oh could I ever be more wrong. what i find instead was his comment saying "cheater! you lied" which confused me further. all I could do was say "whaat" and he responded "you said you'd come back to me!!!!!!" at this point I was like woah. because when a guy's status says "hangin with my wife" don't you assume he's married? good. me too. well aparently hes single and his "wife" is just a friend. (how does that work?) but anyway, he emotionally abuses all of his friends (including me) and then he complains about losing the people he "cares about" this kid is like a cross between my ex (aka: Mr. Date Rape) and my emotionally disturbed step brother (whos 19 but acts 12 and has the emotional range of a teaspoon, if teaspoons got really super angry about stupid things) and he replied "whatever, be a fuckin whore" well I responded in an apropriate manner, and i was nice to him, all I said was "stop it! (insert name here), you can call me what you want but I never said I'd go back to you and I saw how you treated other girls, you emotionally abused them" and then he replied.
all in all, I got called a whore for dating a normal guy instead of a sex crazed, mental abuser. I'm totally a whore guys! ya learn somethin new every day, dont ya?
Monday, July 18, 2011
the everything post
So, I havn't posted anything since there was snow on the ground.... and I'm sure the people that I imagine reading this blog are very disappointed in me (people: not at all ally... youre posts are boring...) shut up voices!!
anyway. I'm sort of disappointed now. I was told once that if you lick someones elbow when they are not paying attention, the person whose elbow you are licking, can't feel it. Well, a few weeks ago, I was sitting next to my friend peter and he was conversating with my step mom and his elbow was right there so i just sorta licked it. well, Peter definitely knew what was happening, and actually, the whole event was sorta hysterical. Peter freaked out on me like "why would you do that?!?!" I also tried to lick my brothers elbow, with a similar outcome. I don't know if I just had bad timing, or what, but it seems to me that this whole elbow licking thing is a load of horse poop. which makes me EXTREMELY disappointed...
another thing I was thinking about recently, was Model United Nations. for those invisible people who don't know what that is, It's like a debate club sorta. Each school is assigned a country, then each person in the club, is assigned a separate committee. within your specific committee, you get 3 or 4 topics that are like major world issues. such as: Global warming, HIV and AIDS prevention among drug users, or alternative agriculture. you have 2 days to agree on a solution to as many of your problems as you can. it isn't a contest or competition of any sort. its just for fun really.
anyway, every year we go to a convention in Syracuse. Since we live so far from syracuse we stay in a hotel for a night. This always results in some sort of insane hotel antics... This year, we had a Hall part with our good friends from a neighboring school, made this funky cheese dip, which, according to me "sounds like jalepenos" (i was really tired alright? don't judge me...) and found a gummy bear in the hallway. we didn't cause any sort of structural damage to the hotel (thank god) and all the guests were pretty supportive of our intense hall party. other than that, Dillon found a chinese takeout bag that had just been sitting on the ground since wed gotten there. so on the last day, He decided to kick it. He took a running start and kicked it. the bag proceeded to fly a good ten feet. then we heard a voice. the voice said "hey!! why'd you kick my food?!" at this, Dillon started freaking out. (he had no idea that the kid was joking) he looked like he was gonna pee himself. the guy ran up to him and dillon started to apologize and then the guy was like "nah, im just kidding" and then, im pretty sure dillon almost peed himself again xD it was amazing. I almost peed from laughing so hard.
(more to come, my laptop is dieing D:
anyway. I'm sort of disappointed now. I was told once that if you lick someones elbow when they are not paying attention, the person whose elbow you are licking, can't feel it. Well, a few weeks ago, I was sitting next to my friend peter and he was conversating with my step mom and his elbow was right there so i just sorta licked it. well, Peter definitely knew what was happening, and actually, the whole event was sorta hysterical. Peter freaked out on me like "why would you do that?!?!" I also tried to lick my brothers elbow, with a similar outcome. I don't know if I just had bad timing, or what, but it seems to me that this whole elbow licking thing is a load of horse poop. which makes me EXTREMELY disappointed...
another thing I was thinking about recently, was Model United Nations. for those invisible people who don't know what that is, It's like a debate club sorta. Each school is assigned a country, then each person in the club, is assigned a separate committee. within your specific committee, you get 3 or 4 topics that are like major world issues. such as: Global warming, HIV and AIDS prevention among drug users, or alternative agriculture. you have 2 days to agree on a solution to as many of your problems as you can. it isn't a contest or competition of any sort. its just for fun really.
anyway, every year we go to a convention in Syracuse. Since we live so far from syracuse we stay in a hotel for a night. This always results in some sort of insane hotel antics... This year, we had a Hall part with our good friends from a neighboring school, made this funky cheese dip, which, according to me "sounds like jalepenos" (i was really tired alright? don't judge me...) and found a gummy bear in the hallway. we didn't cause any sort of structural damage to the hotel (thank god) and all the guests were pretty supportive of our intense hall party. other than that, Dillon found a chinese takeout bag that had just been sitting on the ground since wed gotten there. so on the last day, He decided to kick it. He took a running start and kicked it. the bag proceeded to fly a good ten feet. then we heard a voice. the voice said "hey!! why'd you kick my food?!" at this, Dillon started freaking out. (he had no idea that the kid was joking) he looked like he was gonna pee himself. the guy ran up to him and dillon started to apologize and then the guy was like "nah, im just kidding" and then, im pretty sure dillon almost peed himself again xD it was amazing. I almost peed from laughing so hard.
(more to come, my laptop is dieing D:
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